There’s Enough Activism For All of Us Stop Throwing SHade

unnamed.jpgI’m very aware of the things that I say out of my mouth, through my pen, or by virtue of my keyboard. I’m mindful of the pictures, books, images, audio- the everything that I both put into  or out of my body. Which is why you will be hard pressed to see me share horrible videos or images. I never need to see the body of a dead person in order to empathize with their families. I don’t need to watch the video of someone being murdered in order to feel like the value that we as a society places on humans is far too little. I don’t believe that police nor civilians deserve to die. And I don’t spend my time sharing any of this on the internet.

Sometimes, on very rare occasions I wonder if people notice my silence. If they assume that I feel one way or the other. If they judge me because I’m not posting my outrage on the internet.

Sometimes, on very rare occasions I wonder if my absence is noted at the town halls or on the picket lines. If people judge me because I very rarely attend these types of things.

And then I wake up and remember that while some people are social media warriors and spreading knowledge on the internet my feet are actually on the ground. I have been doing things like putting on our Back to School Bash and Girl Talk in The Park for years. I have donated numerous times to  way too many causes to name. Food, money, clothes, utilizing my network, etc etc etc. Most of the time without so much as a share from those same social media warriors. AND I don’t judge them. I understand that there is enough activism for all of us.

Whether you choose to be an internet activist or get your feet on the ground in your own town your work matters. We are all doing the work.This world/ our community needs the work of multiple people supporting multiple causes in multiple ways. Each of these causes is important and each of these people, no matter which way they choose to support them is important. The separation that is currently happening over who is the bigger activist and whose activism is better is utterly ludicrous and I for one wish that we would support each other as easily as we shade or look down on each other.I mean seriously don’t we all have BIGGER things to do?




On Being Way Over This Election

IDK about you but I am pass the point of tired of:

this election





all of it

Like seriously as a world I think we should take the whole batch of it and dump it into the trash. Then we should light it all on fire and go have a cook out. Unknown-5.jpeg

I mean really, 99.9919892 of us already know who we’re voting for. We knew as soon as the nominees were announced. And when the people we really wanted to win the nomination didn’t win, we knew which one of the second string quarterbacks we were voting for. SO then why as a country do we continue to waste money, time, emotions, and brain cells over this popularity contest of a farce of an election?

Nope I’m not saying your vote doesn’t count. I’m saying arguing over which contestant (cause it is a damn contest) is the best contestant via the internet for fifty eleven months, unfriending your grandma, and being kicked off of your soccer team just doesn’t cause any forward motion for our country’s real concerns.

Like I am this close:


to quitting the internet until we have “chosen” a president. Seriously what’s the point of losing friends over people who secretly hang out and shoot golf together on the weekends while they separate the rest of the country for fun Monday-Friday.

And as for all of the rest of it it is; 2016. Two thousand and sixteen years post the year of most of y’alls Lord and Savior and we are really wasting time, money, and brain cells practicing isms. I’m not saying we need to hold hands and sway to Kumbaya but maybe we should. AKA Get it together, Mind Your Own Business, and Realize that you and your people are no better than anyone else and their people.

Until Next Time,

Live Happy


Oh and usually I welcome comments and critiques but I am no more interested in arguing about politics than I am in buying a $2 Make America Great Again T-Shirt. #Silliness

Damn Joe, We Were All Depending on You: I Hated The Fireman

This week I completed Joe Hill’s The Fireman.


I hated it. I hated the characters and how weak they were. How stupid they were. How mean and evil they were. The writing is good because: Joe Hill aka Stephen King is his daddy. How could he write bad. But uh…



If I hadn’t read some of his other stuff like:


which was AMAZING, I would never read him again.

That’s how pissed off these characters made me.I read this book in full on yell at the book mode. Some of the things that happened in this book were Straight up lets have sex while Jason is at the window, stupid.


Like: No, don’t go that way. Don’t drink that!! Hurry up!!! Why are you staying there they’re going to kill your baby??!




If this book were a movie I would tell Lisa Puckett ( my peach biffle) that her people needed to sue because of they way that they were portrayed in it.

I gave it:


Very generous stars.
Read at your own risk because I definitely threw this book in the corner.

Oh yeah; I know he’s getting rave reviews and this book just made the New York Times Bestsellers List *shrugs*

Me Before You: A Lesson in Heartbreak


As a constant reader your heart will be broken frequently. If you’ve been reading the way that I have been; constantly since I was four years old, then you are attuned to the impending heartbreak of a novel, usually from the moment that you open the book.

So when I opened Me Before You and met Lou I knew without a doubt that I was going to have my heart broken… splintered into a thousand teeny tiny pieces and I craved that heartbreak. Because the only way that my heart wouldn’t become broken would have been if the writer took the easy way out and made this story into one of those cliched, dreaded happy ending novels. You know the ones: girl meets assholish boy, girl changes/accepts boys assholish ways, and they live happily ever after.

Jojo Moyes does not disappoint. She has written a thoroughly researched novel about heartbreak, pain, love, and the transformation that all of these things will cause in a human’s life.

I know, I know, I’ve waxed on poetically and I haven’t even told you what the book is about. Probably because, I couldn’t describe it adequately in my current blubbery state but Goodreads does an amazing job:

“Lou Clark knows lots of things. She knows how many footsteps there are between the bus stop and home. She knows she likes working in The Buttered Bun tea shop and she knows she might not love her boyfriend Patrick.

What Lou doesn’t know is she’s about to lose her job or that knowing what’s coming is what keeps her sane.

Will Traynor knows his motorcycle accident took away his desire to live. He knows everything feels very small and rather joyless now and he knows exactly how he’s going to put a stop to that.

What Will doesn’t know is that Lou is about to burst into his world in a riot of colour. And neither of them knows they’re going to change the other for all time. ”

And oh how they change. The journey that they take along their transformation is both annoying (because seriously Lou stop being so damned self involved. and Really Will you don’t have to be such an asshole all of the time) and amazing (when you realize that Will is the first person who’s ever really seen Lou your heart will stop) and I enjoyed every second of it.

You will see this book touted as a love story, it isn’t. It is in fact a social commentary on euthananasia, quality of life, and whether someone should be able to decide for themselves what they should or should not do about their life if they are unhappy with it. It is also an example of what happens when one becomes stuck in  a certain lifestyle out of necessity and what can happen when one’s status quo abruptly changes.

As a nurse I struggled with the euthanasia subject because I have met people who have zero quality of life and are absolutely miserable, who are kept alive because someone loves them enough to think that they should be kept alive by any means necessary. And I’ve stated to myself and my co-workers how selfish those people are. BUT usually those people are older or not cognitively there. To be forced to face my prejudices on this subject with a young person who is fully there cognitively was such a great lesson for me.

There are a few areas where the author used her creative license ie: Louisa being hired to be someone’s companion even though she has no experience, the issues that Lou and her family have (two adult children arguing over clothes and who gets the bigger bed) but to me those things added to the story. Also my mother’s fully grown children still climb into her bed and are selfish as hell so *shrugs* I won’t ding her for those as I have seen others do. Besides if Louisa would have been the appropriate choice for the job Will would have never let her get so close to him and the story wouldn’t have progressed so I’m glad that he was the reason behind her growth.

For the first time in a long time I have used all of my stars and rated Me Before You 5 Stars!! ALL 5 of EM!


If you’ve read it let me know if you loved it as much as I did in the comments. Especially if you’re a caretaker, nurse, or a person with disabilities. (I think she did a pretty good job of describing all of the BS people with disabilities go through but even though I’m a nurse I’m an AB so I’m not an authority on this. )

Oh and Spoiler ALERT! There is a movie adaptation coming out on June 3rd and it looks sooooo good. Check out the trailer here: Me Before You and remember to  #LiveBoldly


Sadly lovely

sheila sea

when I was 5 years old

the ocean swallowed me

and I swallowed her .

my uncle pulled my body

out of the ripping tides

and forced her out.

in the moments

of my drowned recollection

i only hoped that I was going

where I was meant to be

and indeed fate intervened.

I hope this is the same.

I hope your leaving

is just life

being forced

back into my lungs.

– sheila c

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Work Place Stupidity

You know how you just know a thing but you try not to say it to anyone because:

  • you’re a landmark grad and you shouldn’t make things into stories.
  • no one  will understand because let’s be for real, since Auntie Tom screwed her way out of a job you are once again the only brown face at the table.
  • the other people around this table are really good at making you the bad guy. (no story)
  • it really doesn’t matter if you say anything to anyone about the injustices that you face daily because your last day is permanently marked in ink so *shrugs* do your job and keep it trucking.

Well, whether you say anything to anyone- the ignorance of certain people will in fact raise it’s bleached blonde head when you’re trying so hard to be good.

And when it happens you should try very hard to be cool. Like this morning when she claimed that she watched your face when someone in the room said something stupid that she just knew was going to annoy you and you responded “I have like 6 weeks left here. There is nothing you or anyone else can do to get a rise out of me. Try harder.”tumblr_lfsjooBIEJ1qgdylfo1_400

In that moment you realized what the true image of crestfallen was.tumblr_inline_mxar0ynm491s294vp And you realized for the 1,908, 763,219 time that there are people in America who really have no lives outside of trying to make someone else’s more difficult for no other reason than… hell how would you know? Be glad you don’t and keep slaying.

Older/Wiser Whatever it is; I’m it aka my Beyonce Concert Experience

Last night AB took me to the Beyonce Formation concert. Half as an early birthday present. Half as a we need to get out of the house and do something because being business owners, parents, and employees is STRESSFUL as Fuck. At least right now.

So she got us some what would be considered nose bleed section seats. I’ve never blogged about this but I’m pretty much what you would call a bougie black girl. In fact when the concert tickets went on sale I declined to purchase them because good tickets (I need to be close enough to  look into the singers eyes while they sing to me. Cause everyone knows that they are singing to me)  were not in our budget and I was not willing to take something else out just to be able to afford them. I like Bey but I am not a Stan nor am I a part of the Bey Hive. So when it comes down to bi-weekly cleaning ladies and laundry service vs one night with #Bae at #Bey I declined.

But Bey dropped Lemonade and me being the artist/hopeless romantic that I am, was instantly sucked in . I didn’t just want the  tickets. I needed them. And AB being who she is ( a person who SEES me). Knew this. So she purchased them, last minute. Taking the best available at the price that we could afford. This was my first insight into the fact that we’re old. Bougie black girl #1 and Ashley AB Butler do not DO nosebleed seats. EVER. But yesterday, we did.

Insight #2:

I watched people preparing for their night with Bey via Oral Fixation’s Facebook page and quite a few times I was like “Oh hell naw. I’m not wearing heels, or a dress, or putting on make up.” Good thing when I got home and started to get dressed AB was on the same wave length.

“I can guarantee that Beyonce is not thinking about what people are wearing. Even if you got to meet her personally what you’re wearing would not be on her mind.”- AB said as she put on comfortable clothes.

(Whoop Whoop!)

So we didn’t get all dressed up aka I  didn’t wear heels:🙂

Don’t worry  we both wore comfortable, reasonable clothes well suited for walking long distances, being at a concert in a stadium, and looking as cute as comfortably possible… Which was quite cute if I do say so myself.

#3 I drank one drink before I left the house and did not purchase a single solitary thing at the concert. Not even popcorn. Partially because I didn’t want to spend a million dollars on drinks but mostly so I wouldn’t have to get up to go to the bathroom and miss anything or keep asking other people to get up so that I could get pass them. See, doesn’t that sound like some old lady stuff?

Lastly I’m currently on a personal site social media hiatus so I didn’t even feel the need to try to share my experience via the internet. I think I might have sent to snaps t o my snap chat out of boredom before the concert started. But once it started my phone stayed in my pocket. My focus was on the show and serenading AB (cause how else would she really enjoy herself if I didn’t sing to her?)

Anyways we had an amazing time. Sitting up that high at a night time concert was AMAZEBALLS we were uber close to the stars while being serenaded by Queen Bey herself. Seriously I couldn’t have planned it better if I tried. 

Oh and this blog has no pictures because I was too busy enjoying myself to think about that. (I’ll do better next time.  I know you care about seeing my face.)

Gratitude List 042316

I’m grateful for so many things. Mostly for the mind to remember to be grateful. For everything for every thing. Today I am most grateful for:

A home that I own. No rent, no weird maintenance people. No co-owned roaches from my neighbor’s apartment.

AB getting to spend the weekend with her Bestie. Which gives us both a weekend to miss each other. When you live, love, and work together having your own lives is imperative.

Random messages from writer friends. If you’re a writer, find your tribe and love them hard. They’re so very necessary for a great Writer’s Life.

Snap Chat- Silliness without the drama.

Tumblr-Where writers go to grow.

My family was here last weekend including my grandmother Nettie. Even though I didn’t get to spend much time with them I feel recharged.

Endings, beginnings, and every thing in between.

For feeling like today I have come in to my own. Maybe tomorrow I won’t know who I am or what I want but today I am so sure.

Owning my own business where every day can be bring your child to work day.

Croak: At least it didn’t bore me to death.


I really wanted to like this book. The premise: a teenager finds out that she’s a grim reaper and learns how to reap souls over her summer vacation, is fresh and interesting. But the execution of the book was pretty flat in areas. I get that writers have some creative license with their stories but things should make sense in some way shape or fashion. I kinda want to read the rest of the series but I’ve place it way at the bottom of my TBR list for when I’m excruciatingly bored.

Taking The Plunge

In June I will be leaving my full time job. I plan to help Ashley make the shops more successful, really work our network marketing business and to take my writing career seriously (in addition to the rest of my slash society jobs). The closer I get to my end date the more nervous I have been becoming.

Last night I had a dream that I went on a polar bear plunge. Something I have absolutely no interest in. There are many crazy things that I would like to try in this world but jumping into a frozen body of water would be something that I would only do if I were given a million dollars to do it.

Anyways during the dream, after I jumped into the frigid water I felt a sense of warmth and calm that I haven’t felt in a long while. FullSizeRender.jpg

I woke up full of newfound courage and prepared to tackle, learn, and succeed at all of my new ventures.