The Boy is Lazy AF and I May Just Punch Him Square In The Jaw

zvIzRRH.gifMy son is Lazy AF. Like typical teenage rolls his eyes in the back of his head when you ask him to do anything outside of his wheelhouse:laying down, eating, playing on his phone; lazy. As a parent I don’t know how to combat this.
At least without slapping him into another ethnicity and ending up in prison and I’m way too cute for prison.

I’ve tried to build him up and pour into him his greatness. I’ve tried to appeal to his sensibilities. I’ve tried to ask for his assistance as his mother. I’ve even tried guilt, yelling, cajoling, and a bunch of other shit that I’m not proud of, but as I write this I’ve just finished yelling at him about being a lazy ass who wants to lay around the house every weekend. Again I’m not proud but I’m fearful. Fearful that this laziness is going to follow him through his life.

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How my child prefers to spend his free time. 

Fearful that he won’t go to college, or trade school, or build his own business. That he’s destined to be a couch surfer floating from place to place building robots in the freetime he has from whatever menial ass job he has at the moment. Fearful that I will lose my cool and punch him square in the face. *slightly kidding*

I know, I know, he’s only 14 but I worry that he doesn’t have it in him to work two times harder, be two times smarter than his white contemporaries. That because we have a little bit of money and have placed him into a school with wealthy children, he thinks he’s on equal footing with his peers. That he will be so fucked when he has to face the real world and since he’s only 14  he only has a few years left to get his shit together before life smacks him in the face and shocks the false sense of affluenza out of him. Because unlike his lazy schoolmates who will end up being mediocre, running companies give to them by their parents, even if we were to still have our companies as he gets to the age when he could run them, we CAN’T afford to have mediocrity running our businesses.

I don’t want to get too down on him. I realize that he’s a good kid. A great kid; funny, smart, caring, and loving. He’ll give you the shirt off of his back (if you really needed it) BUT he is also LAZZZZZZZYYYYY AF! Currently he is laying in bed with a headache solely because I am in the living room and he CAN’T lay in here in front of the TV. As opposed to going to work and making money for the many things he wants, or going to hang out with his friends, or even just building something in the shed, or doing ANYTHING. Laying around the house is what he prefers to do at every opportunity.

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I’m trying to get him to understand that a good personality only goes so far. Especially for black boys. Hell, good black boys are being killed by police everyday. Jordan Edwards who recently died was only a few months older than he is.  I joke about punching him because I honestly don’t know what else to do and I worry so much for him. That he could face something as horrible as being killed by the police or that he can end up a lazy bum sleeping on his grandma’s sofa (since he gotta get the hell up outta here as soon as he graduates if he has no further plans for his life) or spend his days driving some smart girl crazy as she takes over trying to pull him forward into the life of greatness which I have been desperately attempting to push him into.

I know that I can not want more for him than he wants for himself and lately I don’t have much energy left to do any extra wanting for anyone outside of myself. I’s tied boss. Parenting is hard enough but add lazy and angsty into the mix and it’s enough to drive anyone over the moon.

I really wish that there was a magical pill to cure his laziness because, at least for today, I am at my wits end.

I Can’t Do It All: Just venting

Today was an interesting day. So interesting that my car is still (prayerfully) parked in a parking space in Downtown Tampa. I only minimally freaked out, after I couldn’t find my keys. For a back story, I went to a coffee shop in downtown Tampa to work and kill time in between meetings. After leaving and going to my car I realized that my keys were not in my purse. No big deal. I walk back into the coffee shop thinking that I must’ve simply left them on the table. Nope. No such luck. Not on the table. Not by the cash register. Not in my bag which I emptied out in a corner very calmly. Not anywhere on the street. Possibly in the pocket of the homeless guy who asks for change everyday only for me to tell him my stock excuse “I never have cash.”Anyways long story short, my keys weren’t anywhere to be found, Ashley showed up out of some weird stroke of luck, and the vehicle that we’ve been having outfitted for my new business just so happened to be ready for pickup. So I took her car and she ubered over to pick the other one up.

But, back to the weird day or more appropriately, the day that I started saying that I can’t do it all. Without my car which contains all of my work data I could only work on following up on things that I needed to and getting a much needed filling.

Protip: when you decide that you want to be a real live girl and get your nails done with acrylic, you are signing up for upkeep. With what time? IDK either you will 1: Pull it out of your butt. OR 2: Use the new time you’ve been given since you can’t hold onto your car keys like a proper adult. 

After the filling I went to the grocery store to try my new favorite thing that my family hates: Buy precooked food to doctor up at home. Once home with food doctored up and placed in the oven DJ informed me that he didn’t have time to watch the food because he had to take a shower. In my head I saw a very clear image of Homer Simpson choking Bart

200w.gifor at the very least the mother from Everybody Hates Chris slapping the hell out of him, but I didn’t.

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Honestly I’m too busy and too tired to entertain certain things. My idiotic teenager making stupid comments about time and food that he is going to eat? Nah. Not a battle I wanted to win today.

Of course, he ate before AB and I could get into the kitchen and of course, he didn’t like the chicken.  Since I let he and AB in on my little Greenwise Publix Precooked food doctoring up secret they’ve complained about the taste of the food. Neither of them realize that for months at least once a week they’ve been eating this food with zero complaints. Nor do they realize just how fucking hard it is to write, sell books, run the shops, do all of my admin work, build a new business, run the house, cook, spend hours a week working for my BNI chapter, and and and. But when I finally said the thing that I have been thinking for months, that I can’t do it all and still cook, AB tells me that she doesn’t want me to totally stop cooking. She likes my cooking and can’t I at least do it once a week. To which I do not respond with the first thing that pops in to my head which is, How Sway?

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To Whom Much is Given

I often talk about how being a slasher- mom slash wife slash writer slash entrepreneur slash slash slash, is the life that I was given and how I manage it. I don’t think that I’ve ever really talked about the more difficult aspects of it, FYI it ain’t easy.

For example, Thursday I have the opportunity to go to an Inc 500 dinner and meet Warren Rustand, an amazing entrepreneur who spent time working closely with some of America’s presidents. At the same time that I could be at this dinner I need to be at Darian’s second Track Meet.

For me, out of everything that I do, taking care of him is my most important job. Especially since his dad moved to California. AB and I are business partners so usually if we need to be somewhere at the same time that DJ has something going on she does the business thing and I go support DJ. But we both need to be at this dinner. And I need to be at this track meet.

So how will I do it? Since we don’t have the capability of cloning oneself as of yet- though as soon as we do, I’m all about it- I’m going to depend on my squad. I’ve begun to ask everyone that I know he would love to see at his meet to attend if they can. If I can get at least three of them there then it will take the bite out of me not being there. He’s a pretty well rounded kid and he’s always telling me that it’s ok when I can’t be or do something but I can’t just be ok with not being somewhere for him. I won’t ever be ok with it. I’ll use my resources to try and make sure he’s ok while I do what I need to do and I’ll cheer him on from wherever I have to be because to whom much is given, much is expected.