For Colored Women Who Are Sick and Tired When Being Sick And Tired Is Not Enough. I see you sis. I know you’re past done. That you want a rain check from any and everything, I get that for colored women rain checks from any and everything are hard to come by. I feel you. I know you wanna lay on the floor and sob into a puddle. I wanna sob too. Actually as I type this the thought of bawling seems much like a necessity. I know that you think when it comes to yourself you don’t have the luxury of giving in to such temptation. I know that you believe that when it comes to yourself nothing is a necessity. It is though. And crying is a healing thing. SO do it. Sit down. Lay down. Bawl, cry, howl, be still. SAY FUCKING NO for once. Breathe. Let the kids soothe themselves. Let someone else figure dinner out or hell go ahead and order in. Luxuriate in the thought of quitting. Then don’t. I see you sis. I wanna quit too. But I can’t. I won’t. As Beyonce says, “Imma keep running cause a winner don’t quit on themselves.” And as much as you want to, you shouldn’t either. Go ahead and take the time to bawl. At least for tonight. Cause, tomorrow we got work to do.
I hate people. I’m not supposed to say that. I’m not living in the world of the ordinary and so I suppose I am supposed to love everyone… but for real, authentically; and that’s who I proclaim to be, I FUCKING hate people.
People are selfish
People are inconsistent
People only show up for you when they can gain something from you
People are people
But as I reflect on this I realize that we create these relationships with people. We teach them how to treat us, we let them know what they can expect from us, we accept their bullshit and we keep going back for more. We are addicted to whatever good feelings they give us so no matter what they put us through we keep playing their game.
So what then? It is statistically improbable that you can live an amazing life all alone and never depend on another person for anything. Name one person whose life you admire. Now look up their support system. Not one of those people is able to live that life without a significant amount of encouragement and support. We as people need people to survive.
Ok so now what Adrien, You’re going back and forth you hate people but you need them. What are you even talking about?
I’m talking about loving people as they are and making the necessary changes you need to survive. You can love your mother and be free of whatever pisses you off about her. Tell her what that is and get over it. The same goes for your best friend. Your aunt. Your mailman. Whoever. Have a conversation where you let them know what the issue is. Let them know that you’re not blaming them, you’re just informing them of what doesn’t work for you. From there move on. Strengthen your relationship or if that relationship no longer serves you let it go. There’s nothing wrong with ending a friendship that is no longer working for any of the people involved. Hell, Beyonce just fired her whole damn management team.
Oh yeah, And this is my When I get rich “You wasn’t with me when I was shooting in the gym.” Post
For almost thirty years I have been apologizing because I feel things. As if there is something wrong with feeling things. As if emotions are wrong. Although I will admit that I’m well aware of the fact that having a uterus places me at a serious disadvantage when it comes to making decisions or being reasonable, so being emotional on top of those two things is one disadvantage too many. (If you missed it that was SARCASM) But starting today if you expect me to apologize for feeling things: Fuck you, I’m not sorry for my emotions.
I often apologize or feel ashamed whenever I’m not feeling my best. I have been conditioned to think that I should always be grateful and never focus on the ill feelings that I’m feeling. This isn’t good advice. You can not move on from a break up, a lost job, or whatever else ails you if you don’t accept and deal with the fact that that loss has hurt you. Loss or failure can cause grief and if you feel grief you should be allowed to go through the stages at your own pace. I hate when I hear someone dismiss someone else’s feelings by saying “You broke up with him two months ago, when are you going to move on.” Is there a time limit for mourning that I’m not aware of? I might have missed that day in Home Economics.
Today I had a thirty minute conversation about the perks of being able to turn your emotions off and make decisions. I do think that it is important to be able to continue to function in the midst of an emotionally challenging situation but I don’t see the benefit of being a robot. If my heart is broken then my heart is fucking broken. I shouldn’t be expected to not cry. It doesn’t appeal to me to have people say to me “Oh Adrien you’re an artist and a writer you wear your heart on your sleeve.” while brushing aside the fact that I’m upset.
It isn’t really beneficial for anyone to have their emotions dismissed. Emotions are a part of being human. Shit, according to Prince even Doves cry.
A few rules of dealing with your emotions:
You should be grateful for the good things in life even if you feel like there aren’t many good things left. Especially if you feel like there aren’t many good things left.
Be as positive as possible. The Universe will give you what you’re attracting.
It’s not appropriate to allow your emotions to interrupt other people’s space. Don’t force others to ride the emotional roller coaster with you.
It is not appropriate to think that you shouldn’t have to complete your employee duties, motherly duties, or any other duties that you are responsible for.
It is totally appropriate to feel your emotions. Yell, Scream, CRY, lay still.. do whatever you need to do to let your emotions out so that you can move on.
If you can’t control your emotions enough in order to function seek outside help.
DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR FUCKING EMOTIONS.
Photo credit: Ambivalentlyyours on Tumblr