I’m So Judgmental: Movie Review- The Shallows.

I don’t know why I watch movies or read books where people put themselves at risk, I’m so judgmental. My empathy ends where the character’s stupidity begins. I feel like I need to conquer this in order to be a better writer. Without risk the story is boring. The same can be said for the opposite, if there is too much risk, or the character never wins, the story becomes overwhelming and boring.

SO ANYWAY, This post is about the stupidness that is The Shallows. I live blogged this so bare with me as I type my thoughts.

  1. Why are you going to a place where you don’t speak the language heading off of the beaten path and barely letting anyone know where you’re going.
  2. Anywhere that someone takes you which is considered a secret and local territory is NOT FOR YOU.
  3. When the guide advises you that it will be getting late soon, why do you continue to place yourself at risk by doing dangerous activities when it’s late?
  4. UBER is not available in secret remote locations. Failing to plan is planning to fail. Especially with something as basic as transportation. This is where I knew this movie was gonna get on my last damn nerve.
  5. Why do people do dangerous activities with their hair flailing around their face. Ever hear of hair ties?
  6. Big ass dead ass animal means get the fuck out of there. Curiosity is said to have killed the cat, I’m pretty sure that the cat was a damn human. If a dangerous animal didn’t kill whatever you’re looking at then chances are that the area that you’re in is probably toxic, either way, Get your ass out of that area, STAT.
  7. Credit for utilizing your brains and medical skills to patch yourself up.
  8. God or The Universe or Karma do not like ugly. Whatever you do will always come back to you.
  9. I’m not going to speak on the impossibility of the battle but kudos to you for winning.
  10. So, you saved yourself as we suspected you would and this taught me that risk makes for a story. No risk, no story. I’m still not heading out to any remote locations to surf without letting anyone know any time soon.

Overall I appreciated a few things about this movie but for me the premise is weak. I don’t see any good reason for her to have been out there in the first place but then again, I don’t have the privilege of being that willy nilly with my life. I’d give it 3 Stars.


Dope, A Nineties Kid’s Wet Dream Come True


Last night I had the pleasure of seeing an advanced screening of the movie Dope. One sentence review? Dope is Dope as Fuck.

First, Dope is not set in the nineties but the leading character’s obsession with the era is displayed in their dress, way of talk, and the music that they love to listen to. The music led by Pharell Williams is definitely one of the best film soundtracks that I’ve heard in a very long while. Both the 90s hits and the original songs added to the Dopeness of this film.

Dope is a fast paced comedy reminiscent of The Wood, which was also directed by Rick Famuwiya, which tells the tale of three high school seniors; Malik, Diggy, and Jib and their epic adventure when they get mixed up with the wrong crowd.

The three teens who self identify as 90s obsessed geeks, have a punk band, and are all on the fast track to ivy league universities with straight A’s and high SAT scores are nothing like the inhabitants of their neighborhood. Their primary goals are to make it out of the hood alive with no arrest records. After Malik meets and develops a crush on a neighborhood drug dealers girlfriend Kia (played by the beautiful Zoe Kravitz), the three best friends are invited to a party, subsequently sucked into the drama of their neighborhood, and end up being forced to sale a large amount of Ecstacy in order to pay back the neighborhood kingpin. They team up with a computer hacker friend who teaches them to sell the drugs on the internet’s black market and the fun ensues.

Adding to the awesomeness of Dope is the fact that this film is not your typical coming of age drama, though these teens are forced to play a deadly game they play it their way which is both hilarious and brilliant, the social commentary including a discussion on who can say the N word (white people you can’t, just stop already) and the realization that Ivy League educations don’t always lead to greatness. The characters aren’t one dimensional and the portrayal of each shows you that people are a lot more than you ever think they are on the surface.

I almost forgot to mention how dope the cast was, be prepared for some great cameos including Tyga and ASAP Rocky who shocked me with his portrayal as the head of the neighborhood drug dealer. Like the main characters his character had a lot more depth and made you question how people end up in the positions they obtain in life.

I would not only pay to see this film again but I plan to own it when it’s released to purchase. Go see it and tell me what you think.

I was not paid for this review and all trademarks are the properties of their respective owners.