Eric at the airport bar isn’t here for your shit. He is fancy and efficient and he will serve you but if you’re looking for all of that flowery language look elsewhere.

What is it that you want? How can he help you? If you wanna be walking all around the bar like there aren’t perfectly good and sturdy chairs all up and around this bar he’s going to need you to start a tab. “If your butt’s not in the seat I’m going to need a card.” I’m paraphrasing but you get his drift.

The check you asked for 13 minutes ago, it’s there in front of you. Pay it and leave or don’t, but next time don’t be so demanding for things that aren’t an immediate need. He has things to do. Like upsell people half price shots with their beers. Everyone loves a good drunk plane rider. Right? Or at least it’ll help chill everyone’s frazzled nerves. Cause nerves are frazzled. People are shooting up Airport baggage claims and stuff like they have nothing better to do. I mean most people do. I mean Chris does. And he’s good at it. Efficient. Fancy. Just not flowery. So don’t forget to tip your waiter.