10 Things You Could Be Doing Instead of Commenting on My or Anyone Else’s Weight.

1: Minding your own Damn Motherfucking Business, Bitch.

3: Clean your House. Clutter leads to anger. Spontaneously commenting on someone else’s weight sounds like some angry shit. (Again, see number one.)

4: Worrying about yourself. I’m quite certain that there’s a missed dentist’s appointment, some raised blood labs, or even some missed sex that you could be catching up on. 

5: Reading up on Candida, and understanding that the extra bloat around my waistline is caused by a medical condition of which I’m actively combatting with a whole ass team of medical professionals and if you’re going to be dispensing advice you should at least be informed. (in that order)

Also, look up hypothyroidism, metabolic disorders that cause weight gain, and other disorders that might be the culprit for the unexpected weight gain or loss that you seem so interested in. 

6:  Stay hydrated. Hydrating cures dehydration and saltiness. A prime indicator that you haven’t been minding your own business. (I almost forgot this one. Thanks AB!)

7: Reading a book. Perhaps one that teaches you about social cues and why it is never ever ever ok to walk up to someone and comment on their weight. That person you think looks great because they suddenly lost all of that weight may actually have cancer. A book on etiquette could give you pointers on better things to say to someone like, “The weather is nice today.” or “How’s your dog?” Or “How bout those Cowboys?” -Classic-

8: Studying a trade or brushing up on that foreign language you said you were going to master all of those years ago. I’m not going to even point out that if you spent more time working on your trade or mastering that foreign language you’d have less time to worry about Anyone else. I’m just not going to do it. So, you’re welcome. 

9: Travel. Traveling and exploring different countries, religions, and lifestyles should help you become a more well rounded empathetic human being. (Unless you’re just committed to being an asshole.)

10: Donating to or volunteering at a local charity. If you’re the type of person who feels so inclined to help other people without their requests then charity work would be perfect for you! You could get your rocks of by helping other people and keep your teeth in your mouth by not getting them knocked out by the not pregnant woman you’ve just insulted. 

I know in our society that commenting on other people is something that we just do without even really thinking about it but let’s just not. Your “helpful” words don’t help and you don’t know how your words could seriously harm that person. And, yes this is inspired by personal events but it’s something that pisses me off when I hear it done to anyone. Think before you speak.