I Have Something To Say

I have something to say. This isn’t something new. If you’ve known me long enough you know that I rarely if ever am at a lack of words.

I haven’t really been talking though. Of course I’ve been commenting on certain subjects occasionally. I’ve been watching what’s happening in the world and talking to myself about how I feel about them. I’ve been talking AB’s ears off and venting to my friends. I’ve even been filling up journals…Yet, I have this amazing open platform, all of the technology one could ever need to access it and I haven’t really been saying anything on here.

I felt like I didn’t have anything to add to the conversations.

Like I wasn’t intelligent enough to string my sentences in a way that would make people feel things. In a way that would foster some sort of change. Even if the change were small.

Most embarrassingly; I have been holding my tongue so as to not offend my friends and family members with my view points on certain issues.

The greatest gift that I received from Roxane Gay’s talks during the Decatur Book Festival was the confirmation that “I have something to say.”  and that people need to hear it.

So on Authentically Adrien’s first birthday I’m revamping the blog. It’s going to be more organized, more direct, and I am going to be saying some things. If you’ve stuck with me this long I am so thankful for you.

I appreciate every single person who has ever even glanced at this blog. I hope that you stick around to listen to what I have to say.

Adrien’s Adventures in Home Ownership 07.18.15

I did it!!!!

Last Thursday I achieved one of the things that a large number of Americans want to achieve: I purchased my first home. It’s been a very interesting process. I’ve had what seems like millions of conversations with various home owners and none of those conversations prepared me for this journey. It has been surreal.

Today was moving day. I can’t even count the amount of times that I have moved over the years but moving into your forever home has a vastly different feel than the feelings of moving into a new apartment. I woke up at five am and begin flitting through the house excitedly while I waited for my movers to arrive.

Moving day taught me a few things:

No matter how much you prepare you will forget something.

– Usually one of the most important things on your list. In my case it was the power drill which I really needed to drill the legs onto my new couches and toilet bowl cleanser.

There are some amazing people in this world.

– The College Hunks who moved my junk actually took the time to help my son assemble our mailbox before rushing off until their next appointment. My electrician helped DJ assemble the couches after discovering that we didn’t have a drill. He moved the power cord for the stove so that he could push the stove back making it flush with the wall. He also made the stove level after discovering that the Sear’s delivery men basically dropped the items off, did the bare minimum, and high tailed it out of here.

Some people are only looking to do the bare minimum.

– I  had two deliveries from Sears today, a mattress for the master bedroom, and a refrigerator and stove. Both times the delivery guys came in, placed my items down as quickly as possible, and jetted out after getting quick signatures. What they don’t know is I had planned to tip all of them. They didn’t get the gratuity because they didn’t deserve it but also because I barely had time to ask questions before they ran away. Maybe they had busy schedules. Maybe they wanted to get home to their families. Either way a few extra minutes would’ve equaled  a few extra dollars in their pockets.

Those dollars ended up with the most deserving person though: My electrician. I forgot to mention that he straightened my doorknob (unscrewed the knob and made it level) because it was slightly off-center and “Getting on my last nerve. You may not notice it but I do.” There are definitely angels on this earth.

FLEAS: I have found at least six fleas in this house. I know they didn’t come from the new furniture. We noticed a few before the deliveries started arriving and kind of brushed it off but after everything was situated and we sat down to eat we noticed a few more. We don’t have carpets, or animals, and we didn’t have any at the other house. I also didn’t notice them during any of my walk throughs, during the inspection, or any of the other times that I have been to this house. I have no idea where they came from but I do know that I can’t call the office and request pest control. I am officially maintenance, security, pest control, the manager, and all other duties that arise.

*CHALLENGE ACCEPTED*

Lastly I was reminded that if you don’t freak out at the first sign of trouble you can think clearly and the Universe will provide for you as it always does. I needed to be at both houses today on three different occasions and between pushing the car to the speed limit, awesome repair and installation people, and great timing I managed to meet every delivery person, be here long enough for every installation, and manage the movers at both houses. Most of these things were happening at two places simultaneously.

*Cues I am a God*

Stay tuned, I’m tired and I feel like I’m rambling but I plan to keep you guys updated on this home ownership journey.

Special Thanks to College Hunks Hauling Junk, Wayne the electrician, and Verizon for the superb patience and way above and beyond service. And to Kelly Parks of Keller Realty for the gift card that helped me purchase my stove and refrigerator.

Also to my neighbor slash homey/lover/friend Mo for coming through with the flea bombs. Something tells me where there are six there are more.

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My plant Alice. I named her after my great grandmother. Keep your ancestors close. They help ground you.

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College Hunks do more than just haul junk.

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How many people does it take to put together a mailbox? At least five.

Wayne the electrician.

Wayne the electrician.

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New fridge and stove from Sears Outlet.

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DJ would you like to use a drill?

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Delivery equals bringing items to your home and plopping them down as quickly as possible. -Note to self ask what that delivery fee covers.

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Wayne The Great

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These Hunks were awesome!

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DJ unloading the car.

The Art of Realizing That You Don’t Need Much

It’s 11pm and I just returned home from my birthday dinner. One of my best friends coordinated a birthday dinner in my honor to celebrate my 31st which is coming up on Monday. Maybe I’m feeling nostalgic or maybe it’s the glasses of Prosecco and Whiskey Sours that one of the owners sent me but this simple dinner with eight of the people nearest and dearest to me was one of the best birthdays I have  experienced in years.

There was no stress or drama over inviting fifty eleven people, I didn’t feel anxious over trying to make sure that everyone was having fun, I wasn’t concerned that someone was going to embarrass me. The most unpleasant aspect of the entire evening was when we weren’t allowed to be seated because seventy five percent of our party wasn’t there yet. (Etiquette tip: Arrive before the birthday person or let the host know you’re running late in advance) It was simple; good people, excellent food, phenomenal drinks, and love flowing all around.

I realized sometime during the night that I’m simpler than even I thought I was. I don’t need much to be happy. I don’t even want much: Love, food, laughter, and a couple of drinks seem to be the key to happiness in my book.

I’m lucky. I’m blessed. I’m loved. In this moment all is more than well.

Thank You Grille 116  South Dale Mabry for the amazing atmosphere and food. Thank you Porsche Price for the amazing cake! Thank you Lisa, Margie, Nick, Ashley, Christy, and Darian for making this one of my favorite birthdays. I love you all.

I Feel Blessed

Today I was reminded that I need to pull my head out of my ass and acknowledge my blessings. There are so many people around me that would kill for the life I live and so many days I forget to acknowledge how truly blessed I am. I forget that all of the little nuisances of life don’t matter five minutes after they happen. During my drive home from work being cut off in traffic doesn’t even cross my mind as I chatter away to my best friend in NJ. Had this same thing happened yesterday it would have probably pissed me off beyond belief.

I used to do a gratitude list everyday but of course as with most things, I got away from that. Even though I know I was a happier person when I was acknowledging my blessings on a daily basis. I don’t know if I will actually create a list but I’m definitely going to set aside a few minutes everyday to say thank you for my blessings. Try it. You might realize that you have more to be thankful for than you think.

I feel blessed way up…

Today I am grateful for my healthy child.

That all of my siblings are still on Earth so that hatchets can actually be buried.

Nettie is still making her own decisions.

People who genuinely care about my well being.

AB Facetimed me so that I could see the Sea Lions on the Beach in CA.

Smart Phones so that I can actually see Sea Lions on a beach 50/11 miles away.

Life. All of it. Good Bad and Otherwise.

FUCK. It’s my favorite word!

You. Someone who reads these words that I string together. A writer’s greatest wish is to be read.IMG_3384

Today Was A Good Day

Before I awoke this morning I decided that today would be a good day. I had a slight setback after realizing that the thing that has been ailing me for days is all over the internet. After a brief breakdown, a ton of woe is me moments, and twenty seven minutes of watching Law of Attraction videos on break ups I decided to just avoid Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Tumblr is safe. Thank God Tumblr is safe.

Someone I follow on Tumblr most be going through a break up. I’ve had to stop myself from reblogging their posts a million times. I don’t want to be that girl. I hate sad Adrien. Honestly sad Adrien must die. Or move to Kivalina. Anyways, The kid and I went house shopping which was actually a pretty good experience even though he is an entitled rich kid from Beverly Hills in his head. He even suggested that he should get the Master Suite at one house before I gave him the child what look.

I fell in love with a home, almost signed a contract to pay way more than I was comfortable with, then I woke up. I refuse to make emotional decisions based on the fact that my heart is broken. I refuse to be that girl.

I realize now more than ever that I am surrounded by the most loving warrior women in the entire world right here in my little corner of Tampa. They have surrounded, supported, and pushed me in all the right directions over the past couple of days. I could not be more grateful. Particularly when it comes to my mom. Her strength often astounds me, #momgoal to be as good as she is to my child when he becomes an adult.

I spent the middle part of my day talking to a friend that I thought I would lose in the break up. It is common knowledge that whenever people split someone gets to keep the friends, especially if they were their friends before the relationship started. I took a chance that I wouldn’t have normally taken and messaged her letting her know that I wanted to remain friends no matter what. She responded in kind and we spent hours talking about life and love. She reminded me that I needed to reclaim the parts of me that I have lost in this relationship and instructed me to write what I want for my life down. To focus on manifesting these things and to focus on the positive. I couldn’t be more happy to add another warrior woman to my repertoire.

I only cried once today. #progress

I don’t hate her for breaking our engagement. I wish it had been done a different way, I wish I had some say in the matter, I wish she’d never called me about having a serious relationship, but I don’t regret my love. I never want to stop loving the way that I do. I never want to stop being me. I want to always be as awesome as I can be.

You Are Worthy- For Porsche

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I wanted you to know your worth

To understand that since birth you had not been cursed
That you, you are one of the greatest gifts of Earth
And that your appraisal is tied closer to your ability to lead over 300 people away from oppression,  prevent genocide, break glass ceilings, lift cars off of children, and rewrite history, all while barely receiving acknowledgement

 You are not a mistake you are too many exquisite details to be a mistake

Mistakes,
if that is in fact what you think you are
are the true wonders of the world and how could something so wonderful
So magnificent
So glorious
Ever
ever be a mistake
And I wish that you knew how
fucking glorious you are
Segway I recently found out that the reason why men have nipples is because a penis is actually a mistake at conception
we
are
all
women
So the next time someone tells you some bullshit ass story about you being some mans rib
You open your mouth and you smile wide with all of your teeth
Smile so wide that they have to put on their shades in order to engage with you As they well should any way because even diamonds left in the middays sunlight don’t shine as bright as your presence
I want you to know your worth
To realize your strength
To know how bright your light shines
To realize that you are somebody
And maybe you need to go back to the old days
Write it on your mirror or get new school and tattoo it on your chest right above your zodiac sign
And say it to yourself everyday
Frontwards and backwards
I am somebody
Somebody I am
Until not only you but the whole world recognizes just how exquisite you really are
You are a super star
And you don’t have to be a Barbie, a bad bitch, a drop hoe, or anyone’s ride or die to prove this
You don’t even have to prove it
You just have to simply
Know
ADJP