Truth Is: You Don’t Do It All

 

Frequently I’m asked how I do it all and usually I spout of a myriad of people, things, and skills that I utilize to get ALL of the things done. I don’t intentionally lie but I don’t think I ever really say that you don’t get it ALL done. It’s not possible. All of the money in all of the world will not ever buy you the ability (I should mention here that AB just interrupted me to find out where the money from my book sales is. This is my life.) to be able to get ALL of the things done.

You can Shipt your groceries, Amazon your household goods, Mango your Laundry, Hire Nick to train you, hire the other Nick to clean your house twice a month, hire Aaron to fix your lunch, subscribe to TWO calendars to keep you on track, use lists to help you maintain your daily tasks… you could even have Jesus himself come down on more than one occasion to help you submit things on time for your writing career, and you still won’t get it all done. b99a87795377f13fc3d5dd3d5cb2994e.jpg

There will still be text messages on your phone from friends waiting for responses that you swore you sent out weeks ago. There will be flagged emails in your inbox with important tasks that you may or may not have completed. There will even be a few family game nights that you let fall to the wayside because, even though you weren’t that busy, you were too tired. That’s a cop out but it’s true.

The trick is to realize that you’re not getting it all done, to do your absolute best to use your resources to get the most important things done, to never starve your family or run out of toilet paper, to forgive yourself and to keep moving forward.

Pic via Pinterest.

Randomness 11.29.16

I’m tired. Like “I’s tired bawse.” Tired

Darian is a privileged child who could easily turn into someone who suffers from affluenza. I’m working on preventing that with my entire being.

Being in business for oneself definitely requires a vagina. I know people like to brag about how big their balls are but I’ve seen enough porn to know that vaginas are the stronger of the two. 

If I had the money I would totally hire a full time housekeeper and cook. Working all day, running around for Darian, running around for AB, running around for the shops, and doing everything else I do is pretty damn hard. A housekeeper and a cook would be so perfect right about now.

My grandma is in the hospital. Scared shitless doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel right now.

I really want some caramel popcorn from Garrett’s or some place equally as good. *crosses fingers and asks the Universe*

I believe in God. And the Universe. And Allah. And Buddha. And. And. And. 

Speaking of Gods, Religious fanatics scare the shit out of me. Especially Christians because they’re so widely accepted that people don’t even question half of the craziness they spout.

Left Right Center and Friendsgiving are all that are right with the world. 

I won’t comment on how the future president is a four year old with a wifi connection. A rich four year old with lack of self control. The type of kid who kicks his mom and calls her a bitch at McDonalds when she only lets him get two packets of BBQ sauce for his chicken nugget happy meal. The kind of four year old who calls his dad by his first name and pisses on the floor of the towel aisle of Target because he wants “a fucking toy now Brad!!” The type of kid who slaps the maid in her face when she won’t let him pour milk all over the place. Yup. That’s the future president of this company.

This Ancestors shirt is the Business. 

To Whom Much is Given

I often talk about how being a slasher- mom slash wife slash writer slash entrepreneur slash slash slash, is the life that I was given and how I manage it. I don’t think that I’ve ever really talked about the more difficult aspects of it, FYI it ain’t easy.

For example, Thursday I have the opportunity to go to an Inc 500 dinner and meet Warren Rustand, an amazing entrepreneur who spent time working closely with some of America’s presidents. At the same time that I could be at this dinner I need to be at Darian’s second Track Meet.

For me, out of everything that I do, taking care of him is my most important job. Especially since his dad moved to California. AB and I are business partners so usually if we need to be somewhere at the same time that DJ has something going on she does the business thing and I go support DJ. But we both need to be at this dinner. And I need to be at this track meet.

So how will I do it? Since we don’t have the capability of cloning oneself as of yet- though as soon as we do, I’m all about it- I’m going to depend on my squad. I’ve begun to ask everyone that I know he would love to see at his meet to attend if they can. If I can get at least three of them there then it will take the bite out of me not being there. He’s a pretty well rounded kid and he’s always telling me that it’s ok when I can’t be or do something but I can’t just be ok with not being somewhere for him. I won’t ever be ok with it. I’ll use my resources to try and make sure he’s ok while I do what I need to do and I’ll cheer him on from wherever I have to be because to whom much is given, much is expected.

Slash Society: I Hate Laundry

Being a member of the slash society requires a very strong support system, focus, excellent scheduling skills, and the ability to know when things need to be delegated. So AB and I have been automating and outsourcing some of our household tasks.

For instance, the bane of my existence; Laundry.

Seriously it’s the one thing around the house that never seems to end. The second you get the last sock matched you realize that there’s a new batch piling up, waiting for you to start the cycle all over.

What’s worse is if you’re a particularly busy person and you’re forced to do your laundry when you could be doing anything else. Like watching Netflix and laying down, much less chill.

A couple of weeks ago AB had a meeting with an old business partner who has recently started a dry cleaning/laundry business in the Tampa area that will pick up your laundry and dry cleaning for a nominal fee.

She called to tell me about it and of course I jumped at the opportunity.

For as little as 70$ a month Mango Cleaners will pick your laundry up from your doorstep, wash it, fold it, and deliver it back to your door  in about two days.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve gotten my life back. I love arriving home to a fresh batch of laundry hanging from my door knowing that all I have to do is put it away.

Contact Mango Cleaners to get your life back and let them know that Adrien sent you. #ThankMeLater

HOW DOES IT WORK?

On your pick up day you hang your soiled laundry on a hook provided by Mango Cleaners:

 

On delivery day they hang the laundry back on the hook:

Inside of these packages are fresh, folded laundry, all ready to be put away:

 

(While trying this out I realized that people might get the wrong idea about clean clothing hanging on a door so I moved it to my garage door. I’m charitable but I don’t want to just give away all of our clothes.)