You know how you just know a thing but you try not to say it to anyone because:

• you’re a landmark grad and you shouldn’t make things into stories.
• no one  will understand because let’s be for real, since Auntie Tom screwed her way out of a job you are once again the only brown face at the table.
• the other people around this table are really good at making you the bad guy. (no story)
• it really doesn’t matter if you say anything to anyone about the injustices that you face daily because your last day is permanently marked in ink so *shrugs* do your job and keep it trucking.

Well, whether you say anything to anyone- the ignorance of certain people will in fact raise it’s bleached blonde head when you’re trying so hard to be good.

And when it happens you should try very hard to be cool. Like this morning when she claimed that she watched your face when someone in the room said something stupid that she just knew was going to annoy you and you responded “I have like 6 weeks left here. There is nothing you or anyone else can do to get a rise out of me. Try harder.”

In that moment you realized what the true image of crestfallen was. And you realized for the 1,908, 763,219 time that there are people in America who really have no lives outside of trying to make someone else’s more difficult for no other reason than… hell how would you know? Be glad you don’t and keep slaying.

Last night AB took me to the Beyonce Formation concert. Half as an early birthday present. Half as a we need to get out of the house and do something because being business owners, parents, and employees is STRESSFUL as Fuck. At least right now.

So she got us some what would be considered nose bleed section seats. I’ve never blogged about this but I’m pretty much what you would call a bougie black girl. In fact when the concert tickets went on sale I declined to purchase them because good tickets (I need to be close enough to  look into the singers eyes while they sing to me. Cause everyone knows that they are singing to me)  were not in our budget and I was not willing to take something else out just to be able to afford them. I like Bey but I am not a Stan nor am I a part of the Bey Hive. So when it comes down to bi-weekly cleaning ladies and laundry service vs one night with #Bae at #Bey I declined.

But Bey dropped Lemonade and me being the artist/hopeless romantic that I am, was instantly sucked in . I didn’t just want the  tickets. I needed them. And AB being who she is ( a person who SEES me). Knew this. So she purchased them, last minute. Taking the best available at the price that we could afford. This was my first insight into the fact that we’re old. Bougie black girl #1 and Ashley AB Butler do not DO nosebleed seats. EVER. But yesterday, we did.

Insight #2:

I watched people preparing for their night with Bey via Oral Fixation’s Facebook page and quite a few times I was like “Oh hell naw. I’m not wearing heels, or a dress, or putting on make up.” Good thing when I got home and started to get dressed AB was on the same wave length.

“I can guarantee that Beyonce is not thinking about what people are wearing. Even if you got to meet her personally what you’re wearing would not be on her mind.”- AB said as she put on comfortable clothes.

(Whoop Whoop!)

So we didn’t get all dressed up aka I  didn’t wear heels: 🙂

Don’t worry  we both wore comfortable, reasonable clothes well suited for walking long distances, being at a concert in a stadium, and looking as cute as comfortably possible… Which was quite cute if I do say so myself.

#3 I drank one drink before I left the house and did not purchase a single solitary thing at the concert. Not even popcorn. Partially because I didn’t want to spend a million dollars on drinks but mostly so I wouldn’t have to get up to go to the bathroom and miss anything or keep asking other people to get up so that I could get pass them. See, doesn’t that sound like some old lady stuff?

Lastly I’m currently on a personal site social media hiatus so I didn’t even feel the need to try to share my experience via the internet. I think I might have sent to snaps t o my snap chat out of boredom before the concert started. But once it started my phone stayed in my pocket. My focus was on the show and serenading AB (cause how else would she really enjoy herself if I didn’t sing to her?)

Anyways we had an amazing time. Sitting up that high at a night time concert was AMAZEBALLS we were uber close to the stars while being serenaded by Queen Bey herself. Seriously I couldn’t have planned it better if I tried. 

Oh and this blog has no pictures because I was too busy enjoying myself to think about that. (I’ll do better next time.  I know you care about seeing my face.)

I’m grateful for so many things. Mostly for the mind to remember to be grateful. For everything for every thing. Today I am most grateful for:

A home that I own. No rent, no weird maintenance people. No co-owned roaches from my neighbor’s apartment.

AB getting to spend the weekend with her Bestie. Which gives us both a weekend to miss each other. When you live, love, and work together having your own lives is imperative.

Random messages from writer friends. If you’re a writer, find your tribe and love them hard. They’re so very necessary for a great Writer’s Life.

Snap Chat- Silliness without the drama.

Tumblr-Where writers go to grow.

My family was here last weekend including my grandmother Nettie. Even though I didn’t get to spend much time with them I feel recharged.

Endings, beginnings, and every thing in between.

For feeling like today I have come in to my own. Maybe tomorrow I won’t know who I am or what I want but today I am so sure.

Owning my own business where every day can be bring your child to work day.

I really wanted to like this book. The premise: a teenager finds out that she’s a grim reaper and learns how to reap souls over her summer vacation, is fresh and interesting. But the execution of the book was pretty flat in areas. I get that writers have some creative license with their stories but things should make sense in some way shape or fashion. I kinda want to read the rest of the series but I’ve place it way at the bottom of my TBR list for when I’m excruciatingly bored.

In June I will be leaving my full time job. I plan to help Ashley make the shops more successful, really work our network marketing business and to take my writing career seriously (in addition to the rest of my slash society jobs). The closer I get to my end date the more nervous I have been becoming.

Last night I had a dream that I went on a polar bear plunge. Something I have absolutely no interest in. There are many crazy things that I would like to try in this world but jumping into a frozen body of water would be something that I would only do if I were given a million dollars to do it.

Anyways during the dream, after I jumped into the frigid water I felt a sense of warmth and calm that I haven’t felt in a long while. 

I woke up full of newfound courage and prepared to tackle, learn, and succeed at all of my new ventures.