Yellow Crocus Quick Review

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I’ve finally finished reading Yellow Crocus by Laila Ibrahim and rated it:

 

⭐️⭐️⭐️

 

The story was slow and didn’t possess anything that would make it special and because of that I’ll probably forget that I read it two months from now.

 

Yellow Crocus is your typical slave escape narrative with a happy ending and minimal focus on the brutality of slavery.

 

The only thing that separated this novel from others is that the slaves managed to escape slavery and save themselves without focusing on a single white savior.

 

As I think of it, the story was surface level and didn’t delve deep into how anyone was really affected by the actions of the slave owners.

 

For instance Lizbeth catches her fiancé raping a slave and though she mentions how she felt and the look in the slave girl’s eyes during the act her descriptions wouldn’t make me feel any sympathy for the girl if I wasn’t an empathetic black woman. Her pain didn’t move me.

 

A friend of mine describes things that are just OK  as mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is ok but nothing special…that’s what I would call this story: Literary Mayonnaise.

Slash Society: I Hate Laundry

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Being a member of the slash society requires a very strong support system, focus, excellent scheduling skills, and the ability to know when things need to be delegated. So AB and I have been automating and outsourcing some of our household tasks.

For instance, the bane of my existence; Laundry.

Seriously it’s the one thing around the house that never seems to end. The second you get the last sock matched you realize that there’s a new batch piling up, waiting for you to start the cycle all over.

What’s worse is if you’re a particularly busy person and you’re forced to do your laundry when you could be doing anything else. Like watching Netflix and laying down, much less chill.

A couple of weeks ago AB had a meeting with an old business partner who has recently started a dry cleaning/laundry business in the Tampa area that will pick up your laundry and dry cleaning for a nominal fee.

She called to tell me about it and of course I jumped at the opportunity.

For as little as 70$ a month Mango Cleaners will pick your laundry up from your doorstep, wash it, fold it, and deliver it back to your door  in about two days.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve gotten my life back. I love arriving home to a fresh batch of laundry hanging from my door knowing that all I have to do is put it away.

Contact Mango Cleaners to get your life back and let them know that Adrien sent you. #ThankMeLater

HOW DOES IT WORK?

On your pick up day you hang your soiled laundry on a hook provided by Mango Cleaners:

 

On delivery day they hang the laundry back on the hook:

Inside of these packages are fresh, folded laundry, all ready to be put away:

 

(While trying this out I realized that people might get the wrong idea about clean clothing hanging on a door so I moved it to my garage door. I’m charitable but I don’t want to just give away all of our clothes.)

Dream Life

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“Do you have a dream life?” I think we were watching TV or something and AB repeated the question by the character of whichever show we were watching, Probably Grey’s Anatomy. That seems like a Grey’s question, “Do you have a dream life?”

I gave her my canned response “I’m living my dream life.”

It wasn’t true. It isn’t true. If my dreams were a reality I would:

  • Be a working writer making at least what I make in corporate America.
  • Have enough Social Media Marketing clients to turn down business.
  • I’d have enough money in the bank to provide for three generations to be more than comfortable.
  • I’d have a real estate portfolio large enough to require a full time management company.
  • My last three books would have all been on the New York Times best selling list for over twelve months.
  • My family would still be happy, healthy, and loved.

I truly believe that if you want to manifest your dreams then you need to write them down. Are you living your dream life? If not what does it look like? Write it down.

Brilliance; One Authors Take on Using Differences to Fuel Wars.

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One of my favorite things about reading is that authors have the ability to discuss world problems in a fictional way. If you’re a thinker and the author is a decent writer you begin to contemplate and compare real world events to the events of the book.

Marcus Sakey’s Brilliance pits Brilliants against Normals in a way that Gays vs Straights, Blacks vs Whites, or Christians vs Muslims happens everyday. It showcases examples of ways that governments capitalize on fear and people’s differences to create wars that benefit the governments. Mr. Sakey does a great job exhibiting in his writing how a few human lives are  sacrificed “for the greater good” in order to further  political plans.

As I read this book I kept thinking that  if more people could realize that these examples are happening everyday then we would stop allowing our countries to instill fear in us in order to further separate us and make it easier on them to satisfy their own crude agendas.17171909[2].jpg

This book is the epitome of “fiction is the truth in the lie” and I liked it so much that I just purchased book two.

Aside from the political undertone which was handled brilliantly, Brilliance is written really well, action packed, and exciting to read. I gave it four stars.

Life- 300 Word Story

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Life

Life. This isn’t supposed to be her life. Her youngest is thirteen. She was almost done.

Life; Now is driving children from place to place. Is school, basketball practice, doctor’s appointments in the middle of the day. Is rushing home for foster care visits.

Life is trading in her silver Audi; the one she got for twenty-five years of marriage; for a shiny black Lincoln Navigator to tote grandchildren, grandnieces, and grandnephews in.

Audi’s don’t fit two car seats, two booster seats, and two more seats where her daughter and grandson will argue over who has shotgun. Audi’s don’t fit her life; don’t fit her “I was almost done with this damn fight for shotgun.” Don’t fit her quick reminders spoken more to herself “But I love my grandkids.”

“Life, these kids don’t think about anyone’s lives but their own.” She might say if you catch her at the right moment. If you can catch her in between all of the newfound duties that seem to have taken over her life.

She is almost done with some of the duties. The grandkids will convert from fosters to adoptees. This will lead to less regulation, less appointments, and more time for her to enjoy her new life.

If you can catch up with her she will probably be wearing athletic gear; black tights, black top, bright shoes. They’re slimming. They’re fun. “If I’m dressed for working out I can sneak a work out in. I need to lose some weight to save my life. These kids got my blood pressure high 150/105.”

Not her grandkids, grandniece, or nephew. The ones who lost them to the system; her son-3, her husband’s niece -2. The one’s whose irresponsibility changed, for better or worse, her life.

You Don’t Hate Social Media, You’re Just Doing It Wrong. Ten Ways To Do It Right.

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Not a day goes by where I’m not privy to hearing someone spew their hatred for Social Media. Most times I just ignore it because depending on why a person is using  Social Media their hatred of it might not matter. If you are a brand or a business and you need to utilize it hating it is a serious problem. Below I’ve compiled a list of the most frequently heard complaints and how to address them.

1.”I just don’t get it there are so many people talking about things that I don’t care about. It’s so negative. I’m tired of seeing people’s pictures of their children.”

Regardless to why you have social media sites you don’t have to have a constant stream of everyone that your friends with in your stream. (At least on Facebook)You wouldn’t let your annoying cousin just come into your home anytime they felt like it; why would you allow them onto your FB feed so frequently?

The next time your cousin Jim posts a video of kids fighting, Click the little tab on the his post that looks like an inverted triangle. A box will open with different options: Hide Post, Unfollow, Report, Save, More. You want to unfollow that person. You will still be friends and when you want to catch up with that person you simply type their name into the search box, go over to their page, and catch up with what they’ve been doing. Easy Peasy.

For Twitter you will need an app that hides certain people from your timeline.

2. “I hate commenting because I’ll get a notification every time someone comments.”

If you’re getting emails of these notifications go to your Facebook setting and turn those off. Whenever you comment on someone’s status click the little inverted triangle at the top right corner of the post, scroll down and click turn off notifications for this post. (Be careful to click the right option; you don’t want to unfriend your Aunt Pat.)

3. “I don’t have any friends or followers.”

Follow people that you find interesting and be interactive. Share interesting things. Most people will follow you back. Don’t be afraid to ask people to follow you back.

4. “No one likes my statuses or shares my posts.”

Be yourself and share tidbits of who you are. Don’t constantly share things like BUY MY BOOK or PURCHASE MY PRODUCT. People want to have a relationship with you so focus on building relationships. Share interesting things about you and your industry.

5. “The sites are like a vacuum and take up way too much of my time.”

Again you wouldn’t go hang out in the park or community center all day. Treat these sites as if they are physical spaces, because technically they are. Pick a time when you’re going to log on, share, and be interactive and stick to it.

6. “I don’t have enough content to share to build a good base.”

The internet is a vast dumping ground for content. Most of it can be shared very easily as long as you give credit where credit is due.

7. “I don’t get twitter. I don’t want to create a twitter account. Do I need one?”

You need to be wherever your people are. Twitter is as important as Facebook for some industries and Twitter doesn’t suppress your posts like Facebook does. It does take some time and energy to build a following base but to whom much is given, much is expected. Schedule some time to get interactive and to build on there and get to building. Also Hootsuite can be your best friend. (Though you should not solely depend on Hootsuite to build your entire fan/followerbase.)

8.”The people who I really want to see my posts don’t see them.”

That’s what the tag is for. I don’t tag all of my friends in everything but if I’m sharing something that I think they’d like or I want them to see it then I tag them in it. That way I can guarantee that they see it.

9.”Seriously I really don’t have the time. I need a Social Media Manager but I can’t afford it.”

Most companies (including mine) offer smaller packages for those on stringent budgets. Just be aware that smaller packages usually equal less interaction on the SMM’s part and will require work on your part. Also look around you, do you have access to interns or little cousins who are good at social media? Utilize them. They won’t get the same results as a professional but you’d be surprised at how well they’ll do. Kitchen Table used a teenage intern over the summer and she was AMAZING.

10. “I don’t feel connected to people. ”

Anything that has the word social in it is about connecting but if it’s face to face contact you crave then initiate it. Facebook isn’t keeping your friends away from you. More than likely their lives are, which is why so many people love social media. It’s a way to connect when you don’t have time for face to face. Use your social media sites to initiate contact. The next time Judy posts a picture of her new haircut say  “Oh I love what you did with your hair. I can’t wait to see it in person. Let’s do lunch Friday.”  If your friends can’t or won’t hang out with you in person after you tell them then the problem isn’t social media…

Social Media is not going away. In today’s market place some companies won’t even talk to you unless you have an active thriving social media presence. Being active and creating a presence is a lot easier than people make it out to be. Make it work for you not the other way around.

If you don’t need it for your business or to build your brand then delete it. But even people who write blog posts about hating Social Media have share tabs linked to their social media sites so who are they kidding?

Chocolate Memories

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Chocolate Memories

I still remember the moment I saw her.

Her lips cherry frozen cup red,

Skin chocolate covered mocha brown

like a worn out penny,

Beautiful and nappy headed.

I loved her from the cinnamon of her eyes,

To the chipped polish on her fingertips,

From her lopsided ponytails,

to the scuffed toe of her converse.

Double Dutch champion.

Taught me how to spell:

M. I. crooked letter crooked letter.

I would’ve married her that summer

And she would’ve been the best wife I ever had

But summers end to soon

Before loveburns thoroughly heal.

Go to the Bathroom, NOW!

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I’m sitting at my desk and I realize that my lower abdomen is hurting. Even though I know the exact reason why, I still mentally tick through my rolodex of reasons: Is my cycle getting ready to start, when’s the last time I had a bowel movement, am I ovulating?

NO, it’s the beginning of a UTI and NO I don’t need a UA C&S to figure out what the bacteria is or why I have one.

  1. I’m a nurse.
  2. We don’t go to the bathroom.
  3. We don’t drink enough fluids unless they’re chock full of caffeine.We also stand up and eat lunches that are at the wrong temperatures or even worse from a vending machine, we forget to arrange for pickup for our children, and more than likely the only reason why we have had a recent check up is because we need Xanax to work long hours at an often thankless job providing care for other people.

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Photo from The Happy Hospitalist

Nurses don’t often take care of themselves but if you call us at four am we will triage your symptoms and recommend that you see your primary in the morning.

Sometimes I schedule bathroom breaks on my phone. When the alarm sounds I have to go to the bathroom, no matter what. Sometimes this works.

There’s this thought process that nurses have larger bladders than other people and while there does seem to be some truth to this, I’ve taken care of plenty of young nurses who have incontinence issues. The bladder is a balloon. You can only stretch and abuse it for so long before it stops functioning correctly.

We have to get to the point where we understand that we can’t take care of others if we don’t take care of ourselves. And with that being said please, go to the bathroom, NOW.

Spider’s Bite and Shouldn’t The Sex Make Sense: Book Review

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Is it just me or does the sex need to make sense? I understand that sex isn’t always convenient and that kicking ass and taking names might make one horny, especially if your partner is attractive and someone that you shouldn’t be attracted to (say for instance the assassin that killed your beloved partner for example) but must the characters really decide to have sex in a broom closet whilst they should be making sure that no one kills or kidnaps their other teammate?

Especially when the kidnapper has just filleted another of your teammates to death with her Air Magic?

Idk maybe I ask for too much.

Gin is such a refreshing character. She’s not really your passively aggressive female lead waiting for a man to swoop In and save her.

She’s an assassin:

“My name is Gin and I kill people.” is the simplest and strongest character introduction that I’ve read in a while.

I liked Gin and thoroughly enjoyed the fact that she’s a female assassin with some pretty cool skills. I can even appreciate that she only kills bad people. It would’ve been great however, if the writer would’ve just let her be great.

She’s an assassin. She kills people. She doesn’t have to keep explaining that she only kills bad people. We get it.

Other than the badly timed sex and the frequent reminders that we should like Gin because she only kills bad people, I actually liked this book. The writing was decent albeit a bit predictable and cliched in some places, the story had a good flow, and the characters weren’t your typical characters i.e. vampire prostitutes who were pretty easy to kill.

I gave it 3 stars.

To The People Who Came For Sandra Bullock In Regards to Her Fear For Her Son: No.

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When you write a whole blog post to a white mother of a black child and try to minimize her fear for her child because she’s white you’re starting to hop over the fence into the territory of those you so desperately proclaim to be better than.

Sandra Bullock has every right to fear for her child as much as any black mother does. As much as any mother does. That’s what mothers do best, Fear. For which they then try to protect.

In fact isn’t it fair to say that the two fears aren’t really comparable? Her fear is not the same as ours, it’s a different type of fear because she only knows what the media says. What she’s seen in movies, watched on TV, heard on the radio. All of which serve as strong forces of silencing the voices of black people and their plight. So she can’t possibly know what all she has to fear. Or at least that’s the assumption that I make when I try to put myself in her shoes.

You seek to minimize the importance of her fear by saying oh she wasn’t raised with this fear, hasn’t watched this trauma and abuse first hand in her community, to her brothers, cousins, uncles, etc. As if that doesn’t add a different element that is in fact still; Fear.

Do you ever stop to think what it must be like to know that the world is setup against your child yet have no experience in it? No preparation?

Do we (this collective voice of people sitting behind screens spewing out 650 words anytime anyone else has something to say) not have any empathy?

Some of these posts only serve as more fodder to further skew the focus.

Aren’t we yelling and screaming saying that Black Lives Matter, in hopes that other people will understand that they do? Isn’t this child black?

253611FF00000578-0-image-a-61_1422710821731Does the fact that his mother is white cover him in the blood of White Jesus so that now he does not need to be covered in the blood of hashtags?

Roxane Gay says in Bad Feminist “We need to stop playing Privilege or Oppression Olympics because we’ll never get anywhere until we find more effective ways of talking through our difference. We should be able to say, “This is my truth,” and have the truth stand without a hundred voices clamoring, shouting, giving the impression that multiple truths cannot co-exist.”

Today I urge you to think before you fix your pen to say that someone can’t express their fear because their fear doesn’t look like yours.