Looking For Alaska: Quick Book Review

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I’ve been reading Looking For Alaska by John Green for a few weeks. It took me longer than usual because it wasn’t one of those books where you just can’t put it down. For most of the story the characters were likable enough but I just didn’t really care about them. Until tragedy struck. For that reason I gave it 3 Stars.
 The story is good. Not extraordinary… Just good. Like a cup of cool water on a hot summer’s day. It’ll do. It just doesn’t knock your socks off.
Looking for Alaska has great writing, a good story line, and funny dialogue between a group of teens trying to find themselves at a boarding school. 
 
I read YA novels frequently but for a moment while reading this book I was annoyed and began judging  these teenagers for being teenagers until I remembered that when I was a teenager I did most of the same things that they did in this book when I lived on Campus at my school. *shrugs* #NoJudging
 
#SpoilerAlert John Green is going to make you cry in this book. Not as bad as The Fault in Our Stars but you’ll definitely shed a few tears.
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She says.

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She says that she has the best wife in the world and I won’t call her a liar. She’s speaking from her own experience. Her wife is graceful and difficult and thoughtful. She’s beautiful and funny in a snarky depressed writer kind of way. She’s supportive and she’s great but she’s not better than my wife. Nope.

My wife is the best wife. She’s funny and smart and driven. She’s supportive and encouraging and most of all she tries. She does things that are out of her comfort zone just to see me smile. That makes her the best wife.

5 Random Things 12.28.16

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5 Random Things: 

Having employees is like having a shit ton of children. I never wanted kids. 
Don’t get offended when someone tells you a great idea that someone else told them, even though you told them first. We often don’t hear things until the fifth or sixth time. 
Jeans, T-Shirts, and a dope ass pair of sneakers. I’m creating a life where this is my uniform.

2017 is going to be a fucking amazing year. It just is.

Dunkin Donuts coffee is probably not worth the price I pay but it makes me feel good. And really that’s all that matters.

Letters to My Past Self 12.23.16

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Baby Adrien, 

When you’re 12 you’re going to catch daddy’s van on fire. You’ll run away in terror and leave your backpack with all of your journals inside of the van. The three seconds it’ll take to get them out of the van won’t kill you. Get them. 32 year old writer Adrien will be extremely grateful. 

Period Brain. Stress. Anxiety. Something

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Something is going on with my brain. Lately I can’t remember much of anything. If I sit and think about it I can come up with a myriad of reasons but it’s probably because in the Land of Adrien there is A WHOLE LOT happening. And when I say a whole lot. I mean exactly that.

  • Cancer Ridden Declining Grandma
  • Business Ups and Downs
  • Book Release
  • Kid’s Birthday
  • Kid going to CA with his dad for Christmas
  • Oral Fixation Anthology Deadline
  • Fantastic Ekphrastic Deadline
  • New Business
  • And. And. And.

Add if we’re fiends I know you’re probably Like Adrien, girl,  your life is always a lot-but seriously this lot is the most ups and downs I have had in quite a while. I’m not complaining. I’m blessed and I know it but… I ‘m so nervous that I’m thinking of asking my doctor for something to calm me down.

I’m so nervous that I’m starting to forget things. Like, Why did I come into the kitchen? Did I pay that bill for the shop? I know I went onto the website. Did I call my aunt back about my grandma? I know I picked up the phone.

I’m so nervous that I pick up my phone to promote my book and I have absolutely zero ideas of where to even begin. Ask me how you should promote yours and I’ll spout off a list half a mile long. Ask me what captions to write and I’ll give you a weeks worth. Now go and read my latest captions promoting my book and then tell me if you would ask that person for advice.

I know I should try to meditate but my brain will not hush long enough for me to do anything but fall into stress induced sleep.

What do you do when you’re overstimulated to help yourself calm down?

 

 

 

SHAMELESS PLUG: My Poetry Book Brownish Green Female Sheep is being released on January 27th you can get it here: Vital Narrative Press

 

Save the date.

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Gratitude List 12.13.16

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Today I’m thankful for you. For contrast. For warm blankets and my salt lamp. For going with the flow. For resisting the bull. For discerning thoughts that help me decide what’s real, what’s fake, and what’s worth my time. 

For books. For love. For my parents who instilled a work ethic in me that helps me deal with my current entrepreneur/writer/mom/wife/all other duties as assigned lifestyle. 

For sleep. For great wine. For pie, wine, and ice cream for dinner eaten in the kitchen in the corner besides the fridge because I have no more in me for that day. For insane workouts that keep the aforementioned from catching up with me.  (I know I said wine twice. I’m extremely grateful for wine.)

For Darian. For Ashley. For everyone who’s always checking for me. For light and love. For my breathe and my heart. For leather driving shoes, red blouses, and comfy yet professional jeans that I can wear to networking events when I’m too tired for anything else. 
(Photo courtesy of MadKittyMedia)

Since I Can’t Kick and Scream.

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As an adult laying on the ground kicking and screaming is frowned upon and heavens forbid you hit or kick an actual person. 

The following things are either illegal or frowned upon so even if you really wanted to you can not:

Kick your spouse.

Even though they seem to relish in only noticing the things that they think you haven’t done while negating to thank you for the 2,653,712.5 things that you have actually done. Not even if you just wanted it to be a play kick. 

Punch your child. 

Even though they are famous for always asking you for things at the last possible minute. “Sign my report card.” As you pull up to the school. “I need money for the trip.” As you prepare to drive off after dropping them off in the school parking lot. “Can I stay at Host?” As you are in the car on the way to pick them up. Not even one of those fake punches where you grab your hand back at the second to last moment.

Choke your employee. 

 Not even when they have screwed everything up and broken promises that they made to you in exchange for things that they have now already gotten leaving you practically high and drive. Even though that Homer Simpson choke looks so appetizing in this moment.

Yell obscenities at the check out clerk of the grocery store.

Even though you asked her to put the items in paper bags. I mean yeah, leaving the reusable bags at home was your fault but how flipping hard is it to put things in paper when you responded to her paper or plastic question with “Paper please”?

You can’t even push the vendor who screws  you weekly.

Even though their claim to fame seems to be seeing how well than can screw up your day by delivering your parts way later than promised and then lacking any empathy for the fact that you now have to call the customer and tell them that the part is coming hours later than originally promised-onto the ground and kick him below the belt. Not even if you really really really want to. 

You can’t do any of those things. Even though commiting acts of violence sometimes sounds so amazing.

But twice a week my personal trainer comes to my house and for an hour I get to kick, punch, squat, throw, pull, push, and scream obscenities. All while burning massive amounts of calories and melting my fat away.

Thank you Universe and Nick. You’ve saved so many imaginary lives.


Disclaimer: I would never harm another person unless it was in self defense. Especially my family. They’re my world. They drive me absolutely bonkers but I wouldn’t trade them for all of the tea in China. 

Randomness 11.30.16

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November 2016 is the girl you dated for two weeks who stole your Billy Blanks DVDs and iPhone cords. It needs to go and never come back again.

I hate when people consume things that are not for them and then complain about it when they get it. I’m so not here for all of the ignorant homophobic cisgendered people breaking the Beauty of Moonlight down with their “innocent” Facebook questions and tweets. Like it’s not for you. If you don’t like ketchup on your grits don’t eat the shit. I don’t enjoy men so I just don’t go get me one. I also don’t write think pieces questioning aspects of heterosexual relationships. It’s not my cup of tea so I let the people who drink it deal with its nuances. 

Question: When did you know you were straight?

I don’t share myself often because most people can’t be trusted. It’s not very enlightened of me but *shrugs* it also is what it is.
If we all act like The Blonde Toupee doesn’t exist will he go away? Let’s try. Ok? Ok.

My favorite body is the one I have first thing in the morning. Right after peeing, when my nonexistent abs can be seen if I stand on one leg and squint my head to the left in a smoky bathroom mirror.

Is it weird that I’ve thought of my trainer every time I sat on the toilet today? My hamstrings hurt so good. 

Lots of people talk about how their mate is their best friend. I love my wife and we are friends but she is not my best friend. My best friend and I send inappropriate memes via text message all day. AB is definitely not here for that.

I’m uber grateful that DJ chose Track. Tonight my cousin has a basketball game directly after DJ’s track meet. The noise inside of this gymnasium is unbearable. 

Coach Miller is still too fine *waves* Hey Coach Miller! 

I say things are interesting when I don’t care for them. Today was an interesting day. It didn’t do anything to me… not really. I just didn’t like it. 

Randomness 11.29.16

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I’m tired. Like “I’s tired bawse.” Tired

Darian is a privileged child who could easily turn into someone who suffers from affluenza. I’m working on preventing that with my entire being.

Being in business for oneself definitely requires a vagina. I know people like to brag about how big their balls are but I’ve seen enough porn to know that vaginas are the stronger of the two. 

If I had the money I would totally hire a full time housekeeper and cook. Working all day, running around for Darian, running around for AB, running around for the shops, and doing everything else I do is pretty damn hard. A housekeeper and a cook would be so perfect right about now.

My grandma is in the hospital. Scared shitless doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel right now.

I really want some caramel popcorn from Garrett’s or some place equally as good. *crosses fingers and asks the Universe*

I believe in God. And the Universe. And Allah. And Buddha. And. And. And. 

Speaking of Gods, Religious fanatics scare the shit out of me. Especially Christians because they’re so widely accepted that people don’t even question half of the craziness they spout.

Left Right Center and Friendsgiving are all that are right with the world. 

I won’t comment on how the future president is a four year old with a wifi connection. A rich four year old with lack of self control. The type of kid who kicks his mom and calls her a bitch at McDonalds when she only lets him get two packets of BBQ sauce for his chicken nugget happy meal. The kind of four year old who calls his dad by his first name and pisses on the floor of the towel aisle of Target because he wants “a fucking toy now Brad!!” The type of kid who slaps the maid in her face when she won’t let him pour milk all over the place. Yup. That’s the future president of this company.

This Ancestors shirt is the Business.