I’m a day behind on NaBloPoMo and I couldn’t decide whether to write for day three or four but when I read the writing prompts aloud day 3 prompted me to sing “Feelings Nothing More Than Feelings Trying to Forget My Feelings of Love.” in my best Steve Urkel voice. I’m not really trying to forget my feelings of love, that’s just the way my mind works. If I hear or read certain phrases I just break out into song or into a monologue from one of my favorite films. I’m sure there is a word for this I’m just too lazy to look it up right now.
Today has actually been a pretty happy day. I woke up determined to be happy and even though I struggled with my emotions a couple of times I was able to stay on my high flying disc at least eighty nine percent of the day.
I had a conversation with someone last week about feelings. She was telling me that a group of people claimed that I am rude and unhappy when they were around. I responded by saying that I’m not rude but I feel that these people exclude me and block me out. Her take was that I wasn’t giving her anything concrete. Because I was emotional I couldn’t fully portray to her that both sides of the equation were about feelings and since feelings are real neither are invalid. Furthermore, if we are all a mirror of each other couldn’t the case be that we were both playing off of negative emotions and not only drawing off of things that don’t exist but making them worse through our beliefs on both sides. Wouldn’t the proper fix be to actually sit down, hash out these bad feelings, and clear the air. Le sigh. In a perfect Sitcom this would’ve been the fix but alas this is the real world and the fix is not that simple. Or is it. We may never know.
Lately I have been having all of the feels but I hope to be cresting the ridge of the Sad Adrien Mountain. Best feeling of the day? Sitting in the hot tub after a busy day of working and getting my documents together for my mortgage application.
Although I’m struggling with my public sharing I’m so happy that I decided to do a NaBloPoMo this month. So far these free writes have been a life saver.